Thanks for talking so candidly about this. I've been taking HRT for a year now, and it has made an incredible difference in some areas, none in others, and some, like the bleeding, seem to have got worse. I'm 58, I shouldn't still be bleeding at all. Lack of energy and motivation, zero libido and brain fog are still awful. I'm wondering if testosterone could be the missing link. Like you though, I've held off, inexplicably, knowing the logic of testosterone as a female hormone. And found myself consulting an Ayurvedic practitioner instead. Why though in 2025 do women have to guesstimate a pea-sized amount of gel? It's shocking.
It is so hard to trundle through all the ill-fitting jigsaw pieces to work out what is going on, and information seems so scattered. As of yet, I've not felt any change taking the testosterone, but am holding out to see in another month or so, for some it has been, like you say the missing link... I'm so sorry you've still having all of these symptoms - did you find any relief seeing the Ayurvedic practitioner? I do still feel the missing link for me might also be releasing old patterns in the system that no long serve me, but that's so much harder when your energy's on the floor and we're holding up so much ...
I am lucky to be in Australia with testosterone supplementation recognised and prescribed for women, and I have benefitted enormously from it. With a great GP and an open mind I have just let my body work out what it needed in the cacophony of menopause, and for me, it was some testosterone supplementation. I try hard not to second guess myself with it all 🤷♀️ Menopause is hard, let’s be kind to ourselves and each other in the reality of it all ❤️
so glad to hear you had that support in Australia Cathy - yes form what I read Australia is far ahead of the curve on support for women in this area... I love that you write you try not to second guess yourself with it all, that kindness piece is so vital ...
I'm curious if you don't mind answering - did you feel a change straight away, or did the testosterone take some time to make a change?
I did notice a change pretty much straight away, which at first I thought might be the placebo effect. But they have been sustained over time and the increase in my energy levels has been the most appreciated. Given the research shows there are few, if any potential side effects, it feels like I’m on a ‘good thing’. I try not to engage with the literature (or friends) who have negative criticism about ‘rubbing a wee dose of daily masculinity’ into my skin’. For me it’s been nothing but positive, and I hope that it might work for others too. But we are all different right? Good luck with your journey Layla. ❤️
I think we are only just for the first time ever addressing the issue of menopause properly and we are in the early stages. The doctors know very little. I think they have one day training in this over the course of the degree in medicine, or so I hear. It's so hard feeling like this. I can completely empathise.
Ugh! I feel so angry that everything is such a guesstimate- it’s all kind of ridiculous. Thank you for sharing and your great pieces on the topic.
I am in what you would describe as perimenopause and it hit me like a train last year. Low mood, a total lack of any sort of energy at all, brain fog, insomnia, skin crawling. The usual lol It was debilitating and had me in despair.
I was surprised how quickly I was put on HRT- I feel like the doctor wrote out the prescription without any discussion at all, and I had a bad reaction to it. Vomiting, nausea, listlessness.
In the end I tried a herbal tablet from a company called Happy Mammoth. I would normally have bypassed it was two people I know recommended it and I thought it was worth a try. It’s really expensive but definitely changed things for me.
Of late, the insomnia has crept back and I’m not adverse to looking into HRT. In truth, I’m a bit afraid of it and yet completely supportive and happy that’s it’s there. Its an alive conversation within me xx
thanks for these wise considered thoughts Jane- I feel very like you, a bit afraid of it, happy it's there, happy I'm taking it (well the oestrogen at least, jury is out on testosterone for my system...), but don't feel it's enough / good enough ... open hearted, honest, supportive conversations around it are of great benefit I think. x
I also just listened this morning to your absolutely brilliant post on attention economy, and something spoke to me in that as well of how we are spreading ourselves so thin as women and it certainly feels like I have worn myself a bit threadbare, too. Or maybe it is finally I am seeing where it is I want to place my attention and realising all the other places I've been stretching it too! And that this is the strange gift of mid life. Our attention becomes honed... I'm on a course for next four days, so a bit short on time, and brain power but I really want to come back to you on so much of your beautiful article. thank you for it x
I couldn’t agree more- on everything! I think this is part of the frustration, at least for me. That’s so much of what we are experiencing are just splintered symptoms of a wider systemic issue that likes us to treat it as “personal responsibility”. A lot of the herbal supplements that I have been taking are adaptogens, and it’s made me think about how if the biggest shift I have experienced is the result of adrenal support, what does that mean overall?
Anyway- I’m not sure I’m adding anything helpful, but I’m so grateful for the conversations you are prompting. Thank you! xx
YES - I've been thinking about the nervous system aspect a lot also - are we all just suffering adrenal fatigue!? I do think this plays a significant role... and your point about 'personal responsibility' is spot on - when I worked with new mums it was the same thing - each of us blaming ourselves individually for systemic failures so often ... lots of food for thought x
Hi Jane, Happy Mammoth came into my orbit 2 days ago, had never heard of it before and don't know anyone who takes it. Can I ask how you have benefitted? My current worst symptoms are brain fog, low energy, little motivation. I'm desperate for help with those. Progesterone has been fantastic for me regarding sleep and steadying mood, and I highly recommend it for that, but it has only worked that way taken continuously at 200mg daily.
I have to admit I have benefitted hugely. I had legs like concrete (I usually have a lot of energy), zero ideas and serious brain fog, irritability on a trip wire, a pervasive sense of depression to the point where I just wanted to stay in bed… All of that went for me with the tablets.
I would never have even considered them (their marketing is excellent and I would have passed it by as another parasitic product to be honest) but two or three women in my work life took it and one especially is a very pragmatic, practical person and she said to give it a go. She went away and miscalculated how many tablets to take and said after a week, her similar symptoms returned which showed her it wasn’t placebo.
I do know people who have taken it and it’s been meh but I went in expecting it not to work and it really made a massive difference. I take the hormone harmony blend.
I have had a return of insomnia but also a lot of stress (mum in law we care for, my mum has dementia, neurodiverse children + adolescence, some financial strain so, you know. Pinch of salt on that one lol).
Thank you for this article. I am.47, currently take estrogen and progesterone but would rather not be. I hate how inexact it all is and this horrible sense that I shouldn't need it. Initially it helped hugely with mood, brain fog, anxiety and pain. However it has come with some horrible side effects and now body pain increasing again. I too am wondering if testosterone is the missing link but worried about adding more to the party x
I'm so curious about the way for so many of us, the body pain and aches, amongst other symptoms seem to return after a respite for a time, for me included... why is that? our body needs more? we aren't absorbing the artificial version in same way? I don't know ... And I also agree about adding more to the party - it can start to feel like whack-a-mole and we aren't getting to any root cause...
It's very weird isn't it. In my mind I imagine our bodies get used to the hormones and then need more to block the symptoms. Menopause is an innate natural process so maybe our bodies are just pushing on with getting that process done and finding ways around whatever blocks are put in place. Pain is the thing that has shocked me most about Menopause, that I was least prepared for. I tried to cone off HRT and the pain was too intense. And yes the continual search for the enigmatic 'root cause.' I believe with all my being that Menopause is a portal to the next phase of life, Menopause is a journey that we are meant to take but something in the way we live now is making it harder than it ever has been before. Certainly for me it is so hard and I frequently question why, what makes me different, why am I suffering differently to my peers? What can I do to make the process more bearable?
Thank you so much for covering this vital subject Layla. How ridiculous that dosage is still left to vague approximations. I doubt penile medication is ever prescribed with a “just slap a bit on and hope for the best” attitude.
I was privately prescribed testosterone even though I don't meet NHS GP criteria. Sharing in case this link works for others:
I took it for a short time, but at the time it gave me a feeling of fire, not the useful, productive kind. Still... I just dug out my old supply and have decided to restart it alongside you. Will report back on how it goes bc having a source right here makes it easy to pick back up. Wish me luck! ❤️🔥
that's so interesting about 'a feeling of fire' that you describe, I can identify with this in myself, too... unsure I like it / will it change as system gets used to it? is it just not a good fit for me? but there are also comments here on how great it has been for some, so yes, let's experiment and be curious and see! Wishing you lots of luck and would love to have you report back as and when you feel like it. x
At the time I felt a fierce quick-to-respond-ness adjacent to (but not) anger. I felt uncomfy. This short fuse might have settled in time but I didn't give it the chance.
Like you, I wondered if it was a good fit, and I also was worried it was bringing out emotions or behaviours I'd worked hard to keep at bay. Which a couple of years down the line, significant development work under my belt too, now six+ years of sober living...and I'm feeling like I'm in a solid place to play with this fierce energy.
Fierce might be passionate. And opinionated. And ready to fully centre things I'd partially named.
Could it be that I'd internalised the danger of my own force?
This testosterone experiment comes from a place of me being open to being violently alive. I would adore to exchange notes with you Layla. x
Interesting. I think I’m probably the mirror image of you these days - I take Letrazole post-breast cancer so my oestrogen is blocked, and I’ve not felt really well since the day they put me on it. Had loads of musculoskeletal problems and a constantly low mood. Really, all this hormonal stuff is a minefield, isn’t it, and if it affected men to the same extent it would have had the hell researched out of it long ago.
a total minefield Miranda, you're right. and to have your hormones suppressed that way, important and all as it is for your health on one level, sounds very hard - I know how I feel with low oestrogen dips, so I can only imagine your body response. And YES - if we were men I can't help thinking there'd be a lot more info out there by now - as I shared in the article the British menopause society states that lack of drug company interest means lack of studies / trials/ products...
Read this, and the comments, with great interest. As you know I'm on the gel too, and my Mirena takes care of the progesterone. I love what even just one pump a day has done in terms of my skin, joint pain, sleep and orgasms but the breast tenderness and night sweats have come creeping back in recently. I'm experimenting again this month in the way I apply it rather than doing as the GP suggested and upping my dose just yet. I'm curious to see whether the fact I'd been washing sticky hands under the tap meant I was getting less than I should've, so we'll see what happens this month then take action. That might be upping my dose to two pumps every other day for a bit in the first instance.
I'm also still incensed by the way testosterone is prescribed and dosed. I'll be following along with you as you get used to it over the coming months, particularly because I absolutely LOVE the way you explain how you want that masculine force to show itself in your life. I get that completely. And if I could get through the day without needing a nap most afternoons and / or get over minor illnesses with a bit more speed I'd be laughing. Not sure if there's an immune-boosting perk to T but I'm on self-declared maximum dose of fermented foods right now and they're doing fuck all!
yes, I'm really interested in the washing it all down the drain on our hands point you've made so well in your recent video and look forward to seeing if any change for you this month, all does seem so DIY! I'm going to try the same... I'm getting my testosterone bloods checked again next week, so I will be interested to see whether there's a blood level change yet, although to date I feel sweet FA to be honest!
And yes, I'm really interested to see whether I can tap into the force more with an increase in hormonal level .. all to play for! I'm also interested in the Happy Mammoth supplement shared here, and again, as ever, listening more to our needs - the biggest challenge of all !
Hi Layla, thank you for sharing so boldly on this topic. I recommend you check out drmaryclaire Instagram (she is an American OBGYN), her 3rd pinned video talks about the hormones and supplements she is taking and she mentions testosterone as per the link below. I hope this helps.
Thanks for talking so candidly about this. I've been taking HRT for a year now, and it has made an incredible difference in some areas, none in others, and some, like the bleeding, seem to have got worse. I'm 58, I shouldn't still be bleeding at all. Lack of energy and motivation, zero libido and brain fog are still awful. I'm wondering if testosterone could be the missing link. Like you though, I've held off, inexplicably, knowing the logic of testosterone as a female hormone. And found myself consulting an Ayurvedic practitioner instead. Why though in 2025 do women have to guesstimate a pea-sized amount of gel? It's shocking.
It is so hard to trundle through all the ill-fitting jigsaw pieces to work out what is going on, and information seems so scattered. As of yet, I've not felt any change taking the testosterone, but am holding out to see in another month or so, for some it has been, like you say the missing link... I'm so sorry you've still having all of these symptoms - did you find any relief seeing the Ayurvedic practitioner? I do still feel the missing link for me might also be releasing old patterns in the system that no long serve me, but that's so much harder when your energy's on the floor and we're holding up so much ...
I am lucky to be in Australia with testosterone supplementation recognised and prescribed for women, and I have benefitted enormously from it. With a great GP and an open mind I have just let my body work out what it needed in the cacophony of menopause, and for me, it was some testosterone supplementation. I try hard not to second guess myself with it all 🤷♀️ Menopause is hard, let’s be kind to ourselves and each other in the reality of it all ❤️
so glad to hear you had that support in Australia Cathy - yes form what I read Australia is far ahead of the curve on support for women in this area... I love that you write you try not to second guess yourself with it all, that kindness piece is so vital ...
I'm curious if you don't mind answering - did you feel a change straight away, or did the testosterone take some time to make a change?
I did notice a change pretty much straight away, which at first I thought might be the placebo effect. But they have been sustained over time and the increase in my energy levels has been the most appreciated. Given the research shows there are few, if any potential side effects, it feels like I’m on a ‘good thing’. I try not to engage with the literature (or friends) who have negative criticism about ‘rubbing a wee dose of daily masculinity’ into my skin’. For me it’s been nothing but positive, and I hope that it might work for others too. But we are all different right? Good luck with your journey Layla. ❤️
I love your attitude to it Cathy, and delighted you felt such a positive change, thanks for sharing xx
I think we are only just for the first time ever addressing the issue of menopause properly and we are in the early stages. The doctors know very little. I think they have one day training in this over the course of the degree in medicine, or so I hear. It's so hard feeling like this. I can completely empathise.
so true, everyone is feeling around in the dark somewhat. which is why sharing with each other feels really key xx
It's not until people talk about what they are going through openly that you realise you're not in your own with it.
Ugh! I feel so angry that everything is such a guesstimate- it’s all kind of ridiculous. Thank you for sharing and your great pieces on the topic.
I am in what you would describe as perimenopause and it hit me like a train last year. Low mood, a total lack of any sort of energy at all, brain fog, insomnia, skin crawling. The usual lol It was debilitating and had me in despair.
I was surprised how quickly I was put on HRT- I feel like the doctor wrote out the prescription without any discussion at all, and I had a bad reaction to it. Vomiting, nausea, listlessness.
In the end I tried a herbal tablet from a company called Happy Mammoth. I would normally have bypassed it was two people I know recommended it and I thought it was worth a try. It’s really expensive but definitely changed things for me.
Of late, the insomnia has crept back and I’m not adverse to looking into HRT. In truth, I’m a bit afraid of it and yet completely supportive and happy that’s it’s there. Its an alive conversation within me xx
thanks for these wise considered thoughts Jane- I feel very like you, a bit afraid of it, happy it's there, happy I'm taking it (well the oestrogen at least, jury is out on testosterone for my system...), but don't feel it's enough / good enough ... open hearted, honest, supportive conversations around it are of great benefit I think. x
I also just listened this morning to your absolutely brilliant post on attention economy, and something spoke to me in that as well of how we are spreading ourselves so thin as women and it certainly feels like I have worn myself a bit threadbare, too. Or maybe it is finally I am seeing where it is I want to place my attention and realising all the other places I've been stretching it too! And that this is the strange gift of mid life. Our attention becomes honed... I'm on a course for next four days, so a bit short on time, and brain power but I really want to come back to you on so much of your beautiful article. thank you for it x
I couldn’t agree more- on everything! I think this is part of the frustration, at least for me. That’s so much of what we are experiencing are just splintered symptoms of a wider systemic issue that likes us to treat it as “personal responsibility”. A lot of the herbal supplements that I have been taking are adaptogens, and it’s made me think about how if the biggest shift I have experienced is the result of adrenal support, what does that mean overall?
Anyway- I’m not sure I’m adding anything helpful, but I’m so grateful for the conversations you are prompting. Thank you! xx
YES - I've been thinking about the nervous system aspect a lot also - are we all just suffering adrenal fatigue!? I do think this plays a significant role... and your point about 'personal responsibility' is spot on - when I worked with new mums it was the same thing - each of us blaming ourselves individually for systemic failures so often ... lots of food for thought x
Hi Jane, Happy Mammoth came into my orbit 2 days ago, had never heard of it before and don't know anyone who takes it. Can I ask how you have benefitted? My current worst symptoms are brain fog, low energy, little motivation. I'm desperate for help with those. Progesterone has been fantastic for me regarding sleep and steadying mood, and I highly recommend it for that, but it has only worked that way taken continuously at 200mg daily.
I have to admit I have benefitted hugely. I had legs like concrete (I usually have a lot of energy), zero ideas and serious brain fog, irritability on a trip wire, a pervasive sense of depression to the point where I just wanted to stay in bed… All of that went for me with the tablets.
I would never have even considered them (their marketing is excellent and I would have passed it by as another parasitic product to be honest) but two or three women in my work life took it and one especially is a very pragmatic, practical person and she said to give it a go. She went away and miscalculated how many tablets to take and said after a week, her similar symptoms returned which showed her it wasn’t placebo.
I do know people who have taken it and it’s been meh but I went in expecting it not to work and it really made a massive difference. I take the hormone harmony blend.
I have had a return of insomnia but also a lot of stress (mum in law we care for, my mum has dementia, neurodiverse children + adolescence, some financial strain so, you know. Pinch of salt on that one lol).
Thank you for this article. I am.47, currently take estrogen and progesterone but would rather not be. I hate how inexact it all is and this horrible sense that I shouldn't need it. Initially it helped hugely with mood, brain fog, anxiety and pain. However it has come with some horrible side effects and now body pain increasing again. I too am wondering if testosterone is the missing link but worried about adding more to the party x
I'm so curious about the way for so many of us, the body pain and aches, amongst other symptoms seem to return after a respite for a time, for me included... why is that? our body needs more? we aren't absorbing the artificial version in same way? I don't know ... And I also agree about adding more to the party - it can start to feel like whack-a-mole and we aren't getting to any root cause...
It's very weird isn't it. In my mind I imagine our bodies get used to the hormones and then need more to block the symptoms. Menopause is an innate natural process so maybe our bodies are just pushing on with getting that process done and finding ways around whatever blocks are put in place. Pain is the thing that has shocked me most about Menopause, that I was least prepared for. I tried to cone off HRT and the pain was too intense. And yes the continual search for the enigmatic 'root cause.' I believe with all my being that Menopause is a portal to the next phase of life, Menopause is a journey that we are meant to take but something in the way we live now is making it harder than it ever has been before. Certainly for me it is so hard and I frequently question why, what makes me different, why am I suffering differently to my peers? What can I do to make the process more bearable?
Thank you so much for covering this vital subject Layla. How ridiculous that dosage is still left to vague approximations. I doubt penile medication is ever prescribed with a “just slap a bit on and hope for the best” attitude.
I was privately prescribed testosterone even though I don't meet NHS GP criteria. Sharing in case this link works for others:
https://www.hweclinicalguidance.nhs.uk/all-clinical-areas-documents/download?cid=1738&checksum=84c6494d30851c63a55cdb8cb047fadd
I took it for a short time, but at the time it gave me a feeling of fire, not the useful, productive kind. Still... I just dug out my old supply and have decided to restart it alongside you. Will report back on how it goes bc having a source right here makes it easy to pick back up. Wish me luck! ❤️🔥
that's so interesting about 'a feeling of fire' that you describe, I can identify with this in myself, too... unsure I like it / will it change as system gets used to it? is it just not a good fit for me? but there are also comments here on how great it has been for some, so yes, let's experiment and be curious and see! Wishing you lots of luck and would love to have you report back as and when you feel like it. x
At the time I felt a fierce quick-to-respond-ness adjacent to (but not) anger. I felt uncomfy. This short fuse might have settled in time but I didn't give it the chance.
Like you, I wondered if it was a good fit, and I also was worried it was bringing out emotions or behaviours I'd worked hard to keep at bay. Which a couple of years down the line, significant development work under my belt too, now six+ years of sober living...and I'm feeling like I'm in a solid place to play with this fierce energy.
Fierce might be passionate. And opinionated. And ready to fully centre things I'd partially named.
Could it be that I'd internalised the danger of my own force?
This testosterone experiment comes from a place of me being open to being violently alive. I would adore to exchange notes with you Layla. x
Interesting. I think I’m probably the mirror image of you these days - I take Letrazole post-breast cancer so my oestrogen is blocked, and I’ve not felt really well since the day they put me on it. Had loads of musculoskeletal problems and a constantly low mood. Really, all this hormonal stuff is a minefield, isn’t it, and if it affected men to the same extent it would have had the hell researched out of it long ago.
a total minefield Miranda, you're right. and to have your hormones suppressed that way, important and all as it is for your health on one level, sounds very hard - I know how I feel with low oestrogen dips, so I can only imagine your body response. And YES - if we were men I can't help thinking there'd be a lot more info out there by now - as I shared in the article the British menopause society states that lack of drug company interest means lack of studies / trials/ products...
Read this, and the comments, with great interest. As you know I'm on the gel too, and my Mirena takes care of the progesterone. I love what even just one pump a day has done in terms of my skin, joint pain, sleep and orgasms but the breast tenderness and night sweats have come creeping back in recently. I'm experimenting again this month in the way I apply it rather than doing as the GP suggested and upping my dose just yet. I'm curious to see whether the fact I'd been washing sticky hands under the tap meant I was getting less than I should've, so we'll see what happens this month then take action. That might be upping my dose to two pumps every other day for a bit in the first instance.
I'm also still incensed by the way testosterone is prescribed and dosed. I'll be following along with you as you get used to it over the coming months, particularly because I absolutely LOVE the way you explain how you want that masculine force to show itself in your life. I get that completely. And if I could get through the day without needing a nap most afternoons and / or get over minor illnesses with a bit more speed I'd be laughing. Not sure if there's an immune-boosting perk to T but I'm on self-declared maximum dose of fermented foods right now and they're doing fuck all!
yes, I'm really interested in the washing it all down the drain on our hands point you've made so well in your recent video and look forward to seeing if any change for you this month, all does seem so DIY! I'm going to try the same... I'm getting my testosterone bloods checked again next week, so I will be interested to see whether there's a blood level change yet, although to date I feel sweet FA to be honest!
And yes, I'm really interested to see whether I can tap into the force more with an increase in hormonal level .. all to play for! I'm also interested in the Happy Mammoth supplement shared here, and again, as ever, listening more to our needs - the biggest challenge of all !
Yep, I meant to look that up last night and will do now...
Hi Layla, thank you for sharing so boldly on this topic. I recommend you check out drmaryclaire Instagram (she is an American OBGYN), her 3rd pinned video talks about the hormones and supplements she is taking and she mentions testosterone as per the link below. I hope this helps.
https://www.androgel.com/hcp/dosing-titration
Oh Mihaela, that's super useful, thank you. I'll certainly take a look and circle back. x